humour away from the books

from the mail my dad randomly forwarded to me!

its pretty funny all should read and have a good laugh =D

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached.




Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!




On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.

(they will look for you..)




When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...

I Gave Up Reading .




My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn ' t Need Glasses...

He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.




You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off.




Sign In A Bar:
' Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance. '




Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don ' t Stand In Her Way.




Behind Every Great Man,

There Is A Surprised Woman.




The Reason Men Lie Is Because

Women Ask too Many Questions.




Getting Caught

Is The Mother Of Invention.




Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.




The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.




Sign At A Barber ' s Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.




A Traffic Slogan:
Don ' t Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough

Or Else They Will Never Be.



Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.



Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don ' t Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother !